To my beloved, my light and hope:
fever dream vision
it was as she said. completely unexpected, almost appearing out the thin air. just hold on, she whispered, we're far from the end of the line. and i, i have never heard truer words. those simple words stay with me, and i see the monstrous eternal hourglass in front of me, looming there as it always has been. and it terrifies me. i feel that i have never been weaker in my life. it overwhelms me, like a fever dream vision. but in the midst of all my fear, anger, despair, i realize it. i see that this is where it is. it's not in their long but empty wanderings, nor in their silent meditations. it's right here. and i have it.
-Johannes de Silentio